yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
