brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just gift wrapped bread.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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