Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
