I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
