Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
