why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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