This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She's the barista slut.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
