Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
