Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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