My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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