Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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