I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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