I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
