i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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