Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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