great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
