He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
