Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
