Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
