ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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