I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
