I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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