grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
