I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
