OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
