yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize