All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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