Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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