He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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