Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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