This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
