what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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