Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
