after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
