operation harelip BJ is a go
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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