im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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