Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
