i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Randomize
