so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
