You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
