I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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