WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
