I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
