guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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