that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
why is half of my head shaved?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
