it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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