the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
