Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
