oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
