He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
