My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
