I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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