No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
