Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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