WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize