oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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