so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
