I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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