Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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