I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize