Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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