through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
