Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
